The Ten Most Obnoxious Comments a Writer Can Make

I have too much free time.

I’m exhausted from my book tour.

My agent wants me to go on The Daily Show. Should I?

I wish my publicist wouldn’t call so early.

Are stocks still the best way to go for such a large advance?

I got a headache reading over my 23-page contract.

My assistant handles that.

My hand is tired. Would you mind if I use a stamp to sign your book?

I remember what it was like to be rejected.

I can’t remember all my titles.

And (from Antonya Nelson) it’s been so difficult after winning the Pulitzer.




  • elizabethmosier

    >I remember at Breadloaf hearing another writer screeching on the phone, "But I don't WANT an agent!" That phrase–"I remember at Breadloaf"–might be construed as one of those obnoxious comments unless I add that I had to wait tables to be there, sometimes dressed as a mime.